On Friday, I made my very first batch of baby food. I'm not the greatest cook in the world, but because of the ridiculous cost of baby food and also because I'm a freaky type-A person who wants to control everything her child eats (ha! right.), and in general because there must be good karma in being a misogynistic mommy who can't resist adding one more thing to our crazy schedule, I decided to start making Dane's food. And even though I'm not the greatest researcher in the world, I spent some time looking into the equipment, and ingredients, and got advice and researched prices and did all that stuff that I generally find tedious and kind of obnoxious.
So there I am, with my steamer and my stick blender and a bag of organic peas, and the two peaches I have left after Jon has eaten the other four, and I start steaming and microwaving and blending and freezing and lo and behold, I end up with an ice cube tray full of peas and peaches (not together, though, because that would be kind of eeeewwww). And I'm all, you know, proud that I've done this great mommyjob and sort of congratulating myself on being the greatest mommy on the block and thinking maybe I should send my video into Top Chef after all, and meanwhile karma is sitting on my bar stool staring me down and grinning a smug little satisfied smile, because little did I know, when I tried to feed my child my tasty homemade pea puree, this is what I would get:
Um, Mommy. WTF?
Here's the thing: THIS IS THE CHILD THAT WILL EAT AN ENTIRE CONTAINER OF GERBER PRUNES WITH NARY A FREAKING WRINKLE OF HIS PRECIOUS LITTLE FOREHEAD. And yet, AND YET, here we are with my lovely bright green organic pea puree and Dane took one bite, ONE, and made the saddest, most offended Mommy, why are you trying to feed me goose poo? face, and refused to eat any more. And as for the peaches, my beautiful, fresh-Yankee-candle-smelling peaches that we even diluted with breast milk and oatmeal, he took one bite and henceforth WOULD NOT EVEN OPEN HIS MOUTH. Not once. Not again. Don't get me wrong. I'm not giving up. Oh yes, little man, the battle may be lost, but the war will continue.
But really y'all. PRUNES.