Dane, or Yoda? You be the judge.
In other news, I've decided that if pregnancy were a 12-step program, it would look like this:
Step 1: Drinking
Sure, I'll have another margarita.
Step 2: Disorientation
Um, honey, what did we do last night? or, the single-girl alternative, Um, how did you end up here and what's your name again?
Step 3: Shock
Two lines mean ...what?
Step 4: Ignorance
Well, why not? It's not like you have to get a license or anything.
Step 5: Panic, Part I (Usually starting around the third day of childbirth class)
The what is going to come out of where? WHAT THE HELL DID I GET MYSELF INTO?
Step 6: Rationalization
I can do this. Remember the epidural. Remember the epidural.
Step 7: Exhaustion
Could somebody please make sure my feet are still down there? And get me a bucket of fried chicken?
Step 8: Panic, Part II
It's coming! It's coming! OMG WHERE IS THE EPIDURAL LADY?
Step 9: Pain
Get this *&%*&%^(*^$& thing out of me!
Step 10: Bliss
It's a baby! We made a baby! And he's perfect! And smushy! Our lovey little baby!
Step 11: Acceptance
Oh, that's what those net underwear are for. Well, whatever. I have a fabulous little baby!
Step 12: Motherhood
Oh, shit. BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RAISING A BABY! Shouldn't there be a license for this?